post #2

7 years ago, skiving was the ultimate horrific crime - to both me and my parents. I couldn't see why people would do that unless they planned to sneak out to smoke, hang in the toilets or do things which cannot be mentioned here on this blog. I didn't see why perfectly fortunate students would look so lightly on the privilege of obtaining education, especially since our parents pay $500+ per hour (yes, I was that sad to have calculated that out). Suffice to say, I thought only lazy, can't-be-bothered students skive.

Enter Year 13 - wow, how things have changed! Not only do I see the value of skiving, my parents seem to agree with me on this matter too x) And how wrong I was to assume that 'bad' students skive just for the sake of it. Now, reasons like "We're not really learning anything new in class", "The teacher won't be here (and therefore we have a free)", "The teacher just reads off the textbook anyways" are commonplace.

So are "I'm too tired", "I think I might be catching a cold", "Not going to school would save so much time! You see it takes an hour to get to school, 25 mins of waiting time, 20 mins of registration, 1.5hrs just on breaks, 10 minutes to get ready for each class and 10 to pack up to leav-"..... Haha, you get the idea.

Admittedly, although a day at home is less productive (school-work wise), its an amazing and much-needed rest from the rigid school day. School, work & stress inevitably builds up over the days and weeks spent at school, a day off won't be that bad.. And so we set off on a slippery slope. 

Sometimes, I think that the older we get, the more effort we have to put into living a fulfilling & content life, and the more things seem insignificant and overly tedious. It's no wonder that suicide rates increase almost exponentially as we get older (disregarding a jump in the age group of 15-24), with >85 year-old males having the highest suicide rate.

We all have times when we feel depressed. Neglected. Moody. Caught in our thoughts of the past. But as we shed our innocence and become more aware of the world around us, it's even more easy to be stuck in our rabbit hole of gloom-and-doom & find life devoid of any significant meaning. But whats the point of that? we're all given the same amount of time - 24hrs in each day - and we never know when the expiry date is.. So why don't we make the most of it - why not live without day-to-day expectations of what the future would bring? Why is it so hard for us to put down ingrained concepts that we should be cautious; that the most important is self-preservation; that we should always assess the risks of doing anything?

Why do we always hold back?

I don't have much to say here, only a bored reflection on how my attitude towards schooling has changed. Don't get me wrong, I actually do my work, revise, and have never skived any test because I felt 'unprepared'. Its just slightly fascinating how my perspective has insidiously turned 180° and how naive and narrow-minded my Year 7 self was. And how thinking about the passing of time inevitably leads me back to questioning how we age so quickly.

Gah. I feel old.
           "And you're only 17."
But then again, who are we to put a number - a value - on how we spend our days?
Today is going to be so productive...

~Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.~

post #2 - want to bet how far the count's gonna last?
lctx.